Interview, Sans Audience

Reagan took off his helmet and gloves, and set them down on the table in front of him. As he picked up the polishing cloth, he looked back across the table at his "guest."

"I don't think it likely that you are a product of evolution," he said finally.

The creature made a noise that would have been a snort, had it been issued from the vocal chords of a human. "You're one of the followers of 'intelligent design,' I suppose."

"Not in your case; whatever deity thought you up had a few too many Coronas."

"Well, it is understandable that you would find our structure a bit…unnerving."

Reagan thought the creature was joking. Its three eyes were arranged like three pieces of a square, and its tail, if it could be called that, protruded at an odd angle from its middle back.

"Many of the machines you have made walk on three legs," the alien continued. "Internally, we are just about perfect. But on this planet, nature seems to favor symmetry. Two eyes, lungs, kidneys — putting it delicately — two reproductive glands, in both genders."

Reagan couldn't help but smile. "I guess we have a fair number of redundant organs."

"You even have the same number of digits on your hands and feet." The oddly shaped being was now "sitting" on a chair, its front legs resting on the floor, its rear leg folded under itself on the seat.

"Anything else you know about us?"

The alien ignored his question. "There are exceptions to this biosphere's symmetry, though. I believe there is a fish with two eyes on one side of its head…"

"Flounders. They're called flounders."

At this, the creature smiled, or would have if its lips were visible behind its onyx-colored respirator mask. "Yes, thank you.
"As I was saying, providence has granted us some…other abilities."

Reagan's helmet floated out of his hands, and rotated around to face him.

"That's not providence, it's a GWI. This," he said, stretching out his hand, "is providence." The helmet floated back to him. When he noticed the alien had scuffed the visor, he flicked his wrist in the being's direction, and it flinched.

"You're awfully irritable for a human," the being said, standing up to its full height of eight feet.

Reagan's indifferent expression turned sour. "You're awfully ignorant for a sentient, if you think I'm human."